Feeling funny today.
Perhaps I am having too many emotions, thoughts, plans. ie the things your brain usually does but in a mixed up manner.
Bad news of the week, I flunged my CAs. Getting F for both paper (I call it 'F'inal 'F'antasy). Honestly, it is kind of expected given that I never truly understood Oral pathology. I have perhaps been putting in too much emphasis on my clinical work for the past year since I started clinics proper.
I love clinics, love to see patients. I truly cant wait to become a full time practioner. But 1st I better get thru my 3rd BDS. Just need to buck up i guess, I still have time.
Though I keep getting setbacks thru my dentistry course. Though I am not on my way to fulfiling all my criterias to qualify me for my Final BDS. Yet, I feel that I am doing everything right. Though sometimes it may be discouraging to see that I am lagging behind my peers, I have tried my best to take it at my stride.
Dentistry is indeed a very competitive course. If u never been thru it u can never understand. I've gave up trying to explain it to Eugene. Perhaps because we are too proud to lose. The consequence of losing in this race is not about getting retained, not about the $$, but the pride that I priced above than anything.
Perhaps Weisong is right that I should be more focus and try to fulfil my criteria. Yet, I can't bring myself to do things that some of my peers are doing. Not that it is wrong. Just that all patients are impt to me whether anot are they contributing to my quota to sit for the exams. Once I decided to take up the patient. I will take them all the way to restore their oral health, rather than just to do those procedures that are needed for me to take exams or competencies.
Yet, I am losing the race. Those who focus-fire will reach the end 1st, without a doubt. I just hope that I can get there in time. Yet, I still feel disheartened at times like now.
Many seniors have told me that dentistry will bring the best and the worst out of ppl. As the days goes by, i find that's very true. I am in no position to judge what other are doing. i only have myself to answer i guess. i know that i have always put my patients interests before my own thats all the comfort i have i guess.