The super long conversation, more of a lecture from Dr Peter Tay and Dr ?? (the one who sell Aston Martin) and Dr Dominic Leong(actually he's quite a funny guy) was rather confusing for a mind of mine. Well, I guess they just wanna share their views of life and experiences with youngsters like us. But I can't help but to feel overwhelmed. Still, I must thank them, for I've definitely learnt a thing or two that night.
Definitely there are things to learn from them, they have spoken from what they went through. But somehow, my dream in life seems to defer significantly from them. Not that I dun love money, not that I dun love nice cars. Just not enough I guess. Of course, I've dreams. Like they have said, we all should have dreams, goals that will make us work towards them. Just that in my case, they dun come in cold hard cash form.
I remembered a conversation in parkway BK long long time ago with Eugene. I wished to have a happy life. Happy family, happy job and sufficient cash such that I have no qualms on spending, able to help ppl like going on mission trips which I will be going for in April. I've never dreamt of a mansion with numerous cars, driving range and tennis courts. Of course, it will be nice to own them, but the truth is that I dun really yearn for them. Definitely not enough to make me work hard for them.
Anyways back to the lecture last night, I guess there are these that are still applicable to myself. Somethings do left a deep impression. The gist of it was:
1.) In a partnership, always be more unfair to yourself and with a partner of the same mindset then the partnership will work. Perhaps, i have to be nicer to Clement =P.
2.) Never try to skive, and get the easy way out.
3.) Get use to the habit of working hard, then you won't find hardship difficult anymore.
4.) Punctuality reflects ur reponsibility (something I have a problem with)
5.) Cornea is 600 micron thick/thin. (Funny that he can remember all the figures)
Of course there are many more stuffs which I can't remember. My point is that I still find their advices applicable towards my dream. And something they mention has hit right on the nail. Many of us dunno how to start working towards our dreams. Well, I guess, the very 1st on the list is to get over my incoming tests and exams.
Anyways, just wanna thanks Prof Chew for being such a nice mentor, for inviting us for dinners and buying us stuffs. We should buy him a meal someday. But quite funny to ask him out for dinner I guess.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Monday, January 24, 2005
What Is Courage?
This is not going to be some silly GP questions from 'A' Levels. Its just a question I've asked myself. What was the most courageous thing I've ever done? I was ashamed. After watching a documentary on Ch 8 about congenitally disabled children and their courage to overcome such great difficulties and become such strong souls. Many of them led a hard life, but with what God has left them they made the best out of what they are blessed with not damned without. Finally, I realised that was true courage.
Perhaps, many could easily come out with something like this. But this is from my heart. I am so fortunate amongst so many. Suddenly, tests and exams seems so small an obstacle to overcome. Yet, when we are in it we thought that was suffering. The truth is we do not know whats true suffering. With my abled body and sane mind, i should strived to live a much fuller life. Be a better person, and learn to appreciate things around me better. Learn to love others more. Coz no one deserved less than another.
Ashamed of having such a short fuse, an irresponsible tongue and many flaws like selfishness, self-centred-ness. Let me have the courage to renew my ways. More grace from heart and none of hypocrisy. Yet, I am mortal. I guess, its all talk. I hope its not.
"No hardship, is real hardship. Unless contruced to be."
Perhaps, many could easily come out with something like this. But this is from my heart. I am so fortunate amongst so many. Suddenly, tests and exams seems so small an obstacle to overcome. Yet, when we are in it we thought that was suffering. The truth is we do not know whats true suffering. With my abled body and sane mind, i should strived to live a much fuller life. Be a better person, and learn to appreciate things around me better. Learn to love others more. Coz no one deserved less than another.
Ashamed of having such a short fuse, an irresponsible tongue and many flaws like selfishness, self-centred-ness. Let me have the courage to renew my ways. More grace from heart and none of hypocrisy. Yet, I am mortal. I guess, its all talk. I hope its not.
"No hardship, is real hardship. Unless contruced to be."
Friday, January 07, 2005
Thank You For The Test
Okay, once again I overslept. For the sake of not skipping the 1st radiology lecture of the term. I decided to take a cab which I spent $20.60 on. Well, so unluckily, I bumped into my menace: A/P Loh Fun Chee on my way into class. Simply becoz I went to SM 1A where the lesson is supposed to be at SM 1B. Well, it just so happened that he also made the same mistake of thinking the lesson is held at SM 1A. Just my luck I guess.
I started of greeting him and Dr Ong good morning which I thought was a polite gesture. However, the conversation follow led my my own insult.
"How many of them are in class already?"
"Sorry Prof, I just arrived so I dunno who's there already."
"Did you pass ur radio test?"
"No Prof, I failed."
"And you still dare to come late for lesson."
"Sorry, Prof I already took a cab and came as fast as I could and I was caught in a jam...."
He ignored me. And turned to talk to Dr Ong.
I can't control my rage. I was totally mad. He who I supposed had failed me on purpose had to stab on my wound once again. And I seriously dun see any relationship between me failing a test and coming on time for lesson, moreover I really did my best to come on time. Given any other lessons I probably would have taken my own time and not waste my money on cab fare. Perhaps, I was in a foul mood for oversleeping again.
But I can't help but to feel that he is indeed prejudiced towards me. I really dunno what went wrong? Why on earth does he have to pick on me? Which toe of his did I stepped on? I admit I am not the most attentive student, I am also not the most well-behaved one. But I'm sure I'm definitely not the incompetent one. I am not awed by his knowledge of radiology which I believed simply come from experience. Perhaps, that has hurt his priced ego. Does he, based on his hatred for me, have to do such actions towards me. He as a Prof, a teacher, has such a narrow-mind, petty heart. He has totally lost the last bit of respect I have for him.
On the other hand, my control for my temper was really bad. Return grace, return kindness for evil. I've failed this test God has placed before me. I'm ashamed. Give me strength to carry on. Come what may. The next radiology test is next week, I already know the results already after happened today.
Sorry to those who suffered from the spilled over of my anger. Especially Lulin who has to listen to all my explosive words. Those who had to endure my black face. Those who disagreed with my doings. Those who think I'm the one at fault. Those who think I'm a sore loser. Sorry for making anyone uncomortable. Still I guess, sorry no cure.
Well, its a good test to see who will stand by your side and firmly have faith in your capability. From beginning to end, Lulin has no doubt in me that I should have no problem passing the test only that she disagreed that I behaved so unruly (Well, she's right I shdn't have). Whereas some think that LFC wouldnt have purposely failed me. Its not hard to see who have failed me and who have not. All in their eyes not in their words. Perhaps that adds to my disappointment. But there is nothing more I should expect of them for knowing less than 2 years. At least when I told my family of what happened, I felt comforted. They without a doubt believed that I was unfairly graded. Without knowledge of whether I am good anot. Only through faith and confidence they have in me. I swear for their sake, I will not let them down. I will be a competent clinician.
Perhaps, Eugene is going to give me a earful when he get to hear this, As usual he is going to be right. But I hope he has faith in my competency, though he has never seen my work. Well, at least its weekend. Life goes on. Thanks for the test God. I've failed, but I've learnt more than anyone could have realised.
I started of greeting him and Dr Ong good morning which I thought was a polite gesture. However, the conversation follow led my my own insult.
"How many of them are in class already?"
"Sorry Prof, I just arrived so I dunno who's there already."
"Did you pass ur radio test?"
"No Prof, I failed."
"And you still dare to come late for lesson."
"Sorry, Prof I already took a cab and came as fast as I could and I was caught in a jam...."
He ignored me. And turned to talk to Dr Ong.
I can't control my rage. I was totally mad. He who I supposed had failed me on purpose had to stab on my wound once again. And I seriously dun see any relationship between me failing a test and coming on time for lesson, moreover I really did my best to come on time. Given any other lessons I probably would have taken my own time and not waste my money on cab fare. Perhaps, I was in a foul mood for oversleeping again.
But I can't help but to feel that he is indeed prejudiced towards me. I really dunno what went wrong? Why on earth does he have to pick on me? Which toe of his did I stepped on? I admit I am not the most attentive student, I am also not the most well-behaved one. But I'm sure I'm definitely not the incompetent one. I am not awed by his knowledge of radiology which I believed simply come from experience. Perhaps, that has hurt his priced ego. Does he, based on his hatred for me, have to do such actions towards me. He as a Prof, a teacher, has such a narrow-mind, petty heart. He has totally lost the last bit of respect I have for him.
On the other hand, my control for my temper was really bad. Return grace, return kindness for evil. I've failed this test God has placed before me. I'm ashamed. Give me strength to carry on. Come what may. The next radiology test is next week, I already know the results already after happened today.
Sorry to those who suffered from the spilled over of my anger. Especially Lulin who has to listen to all my explosive words. Those who had to endure my black face. Those who disagreed with my doings. Those who think I'm the one at fault. Those who think I'm a sore loser. Sorry for making anyone uncomortable. Still I guess, sorry no cure.
Well, its a good test to see who will stand by your side and firmly have faith in your capability. From beginning to end, Lulin has no doubt in me that I should have no problem passing the test only that she disagreed that I behaved so unruly (Well, she's right I shdn't have). Whereas some think that LFC wouldnt have purposely failed me. Its not hard to see who have failed me and who have not. All in their eyes not in their words. Perhaps that adds to my disappointment. But there is nothing more I should expect of them for knowing less than 2 years. At least when I told my family of what happened, I felt comforted. They without a doubt believed that I was unfairly graded. Without knowledge of whether I am good anot. Only through faith and confidence they have in me. I swear for their sake, I will not let them down. I will be a competent clinician.
Perhaps, Eugene is going to give me a earful when he get to hear this, As usual he is going to be right. But I hope he has faith in my competency, though he has never seen my work. Well, at least its weekend. Life goes on. Thanks for the test God. I've failed, but I've learnt more than anyone could have realised.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Old Friends
Today, I bumped into quite a few old friends in school. Well its not that great a surprise coz they are all med students. Saw Jianye in the morning while i was getting breakfast. Well, I said hi to him, but somehow he dun seems interested in engaging any conversation. Oh well, perhaps morning ain't good for conversations. But its just weird that all he could say is "how sad" to me.
"Ur School started today also?"
"No. My School Started Last Week."
"How Sad"
"Its alright"
"U graduating this year?"
"No I'm not graduating this year, I served NS remember."
"How Sad"
"Its alright"
Well, I must say that I was rather uninterested to continue. Nothing much I could say I guess. Except its alright. So I just got my stuff, pat his back and off I went for my clinics.
Met Wendy and Pinakin during lunch. Well, I must say I was delighted to see them. But somehow, we had nothing more than new year greetings and a hi-bye situation as well. Strangely how I behaved towards such good friends. Maybe, its the same thing again, I've missed out too much of their life and they have missed out too much of mine. I can't say anything except wassup. I dun even know anything major that's happening in their life. Other than thru blogs. Sorry that I'm such a self centred person that I only focus on what's going on in my life. Labworks to be completed, tests to studied for etc.. Maybe thats the same for them. That's how we lost each other I figured.
Was looking at the photos when i got home. I'm glad the great memories have stayed. Perhaps I should have said to Peanut this afternoon that this conversation is getting dry, Martini Dry. That might have felt nostalagic. Oh well, perhaps we could meet up someday at Siglap again, Althought T-bar is no more there, we can settle for Coffee Club I guess. Happy New Year Guys.
for pinakin : Hey dude perhaps many have already said that to you. Well, you r looking more and more doctor-like. Perhaps u can be my cardiologist someday.
"Ur School started today also?"
"No. My School Started Last Week."
"How Sad"
"Its alright"
"U graduating this year?"
"No I'm not graduating this year, I served NS remember."
"How Sad"
"Its alright"
Well, I must say that I was rather uninterested to continue. Nothing much I could say I guess. Except its alright. So I just got my stuff, pat his back and off I went for my clinics.
Met Wendy and Pinakin during lunch. Well, I must say I was delighted to see them. But somehow, we had nothing more than new year greetings and a hi-bye situation as well. Strangely how I behaved towards such good friends. Maybe, its the same thing again, I've missed out too much of their life and they have missed out too much of mine. I can't say anything except wassup. I dun even know anything major that's happening in their life. Other than thru blogs. Sorry that I'm such a self centred person that I only focus on what's going on in my life. Labworks to be completed, tests to studied for etc.. Maybe thats the same for them. That's how we lost each other I figured.
Was looking at the photos when i got home. I'm glad the great memories have stayed. Perhaps I should have said to Peanut this afternoon that this conversation is getting dry, Martini Dry. That might have felt nostalagic. Oh well, perhaps we could meet up someday at Siglap again, Althought T-bar is no more there, we can settle for Coffee Club I guess. Happy New Year Guys.
for pinakin : Hey dude perhaps many have already said that to you. Well, you r looking more and more doctor-like. Perhaps u can be my cardiologist someday.
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