Reported Speech

Well, its Sunday nite. And once again I am suffering from Pre-school blue sydrome. I, as usual have tonnes of things to do. Yet, I am not doing. Read a dozen books prepare for clinics tomolo, etc etc. But I just ended up stoning in front of my comp. Reading blogs (mostly un-updated), probably most ppl are too busy with their life to blog.

Anyways, nothing much to say, just glad that I have a well spent and rested weekend.

Friday, went to a dinner at the alumini house at SGH. Turned out to be quite different from what i expected. At 1st i thought its gonna be very restrictive etc etc of a formal function, but turned out to be just eating with some super duper old doctors. Seems like everybody knows everybody. Anyways, the gist of it is that, its a greying alumini, most of them are old, very few young blood. It does seems to me that they are a bunch of very onz ppl when they were younger I guess. They are forever mentioning about the spirit of the alumini, which i think i understand. Something like I saying about class spirit, yet getting no response. dejectful it is indeed. Ppl these days r too individualistic. Nothing wrong, but perhaps we are missing out too much.

Saturday, packed my day with Lulin. had our Mac's, swam, shopped, just missed out kite flying, the layang queen cant wait to fly kite, so maybe tuesday if there is no rain.

Today, basically slack, too lazy to read, only did my wax-up, not v.nice, but can la..

Blog has now reduced to a reported speech station, thanks Singapore.

Food Poisoned Me, Mind Intoxicated Me.

I should either be sleeping or studying now. I can't sleep coz I've slept too much through out the whole of today and yesterday. I can't study becoz the medication i took just cause too much drowsiness that I am getting dbl vision while reading the notes.

Anyways, today is the 1st time ever that I have taken a sick leave since I started clinics from end of Year 2. And its the 1st time that I've gotten food poisoning. Till now I still have no idea of what have caused it. But it doesnt really matter.

I have just a lot of frustrations in me. So much things to do, so much things to manage, I just wanna give up. I am not moving on in clinics, though I must say that every session is a session learnt. Learning from mistakes is not a good experience, feels like crap everytime that happened.

Wedding Bells

Today, I attended Wei Hon and Lynn Hwee church wedding.

Its my very first friends' wedding. I must say that it is really quite nice to have a church wedding. The only problem is that I think I might fall asleep while the pastor is doing all the readings and I am no christian.

Anyways, I just had some baileys from the left over from last Friday after the wire bending session. Feeling rather philosophical. The big question I have is what is wedding?

Is it a formality, convention, contract, affirmation or izzit just scary.

As the wedding proceeds today, I can't help but to think, will I end up there in Wei Hon's shoes in less than 10 years time. Nahz... I have just confirmed I have marriage phobia. But that's not the discussion for today. Why must wedding involve so many ppl? Why must there be a wedding ceremony. If 2 persons are really meant for each other why still need a wedding?

Okay I'm getting rather incoherent. Alcohol is not good. To be continue... Cant really think now...

Dreams & Reality

Talking to JR while helping (more of itchy fingers) her to do some work. Turned out to worse I guess. Somehow the conversation diverted towards my future career as a prothodontist. Its funny how she could have more faith than myself to think that I gonna end up becoming a prosthodontist. Flattered I must say I am. Yet, I know myself better to pass a fairer judgement: I am just not good enough.

As much as I wish to become a prosthodontist. I understand that there is something I lacked. My eyes are not sharp, as far as I could see. Accuracy I dun possess. Good hands I lacked. Aesthetics is more of gut feeling than a matter of factly thingy to me. Perhaps with more training I could become better, yet the cruel truth is that hardwork and effort can only bring you thus far. There is something more that is required, something I lacked.

Passion I possess, sadly not the flair. Something that will distinguish a good dentist from the very best. As hard as I can try, talent is born not trained, something I have come to terms with. All I could do is to read more into this field and with more knowledge I wish I can understand better. Yet, knowledge is not the key.

Perhaps, I am being too harsh on myelf. However, I feel that I'm just being absolutely honest with myself. Still I will hold this dream close to my heart. I'll work my way towards it with each and everyday.

Just wanna thanks JR.