This blog is going to be delicated for my gal. This very 1st line is so hard to write. Perhaps, I'm just paiseh to shout out to the whole world that I'm so in love with her. So everytime when I wanna write about all the nice nice things she has done for me. I would be rather subtle. Or perhaps, I'm just selfish. I refused to share all these stuffs with other ppl. Think I really dun wanna share.
Never will I praise her, so that others will never get to see why she is the love of my life. Legolas once joked that why on earth will I fall for a gal like her. I said, I've found a treasure that he has failed to see.
I'm not saying she is perfect. Well, perfect for me though. I guess I shd not continue. Dun wanna turn my blog into a love letter station. Our privacy r our own. I just wanna tell the world and her, I'm glad I've found her. I know u r not perfect, and I'm sorry that neither am I. Hope u r glad to be with me.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Loneliness?
I concluded I am afraid of loneliness. I dreaded coming home today becoz I know the whole of my family are staying over at Downtown East Chalets tonight. Maybe I'm just born this way. I love to be with ppl. Perhaps, I feel so much more secure. Actually not. I realised I just don't like to be alone. And I can be secure alone like now. Most ppl actually ended up spending most of their life alone. I hope I won't.
Fortunate me had Lulin. She decided to eat dinner with me. That made my day I guess. Even getting a C for my Pharm test dun upset me. (Pls note that I am a rather competitive man. Maybe some might say that I shd not complain since I have passed.) Just wanna thank her. Too tired now to write now. Perhaps another day.
Fortunate me had Lulin. She decided to eat dinner with me. That made my day I guess. Even getting a C for my Pharm test dun upset me. (Pls note that I am a rather competitive man. Maybe some might say that I shd not complain since I have passed.) Just wanna thank her. Too tired now to write now. Perhaps another day.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
SIANZzzzz.
Before I knew it, weekend is already over. Its just sad that I did not do anything that I wanted to. Perhaps life is just mundane for me. School is just too long. Everyday even Saturday, I barely had enough rest and fun, and I and jumping back to work again.
I am really quite sick of this cycle. Yet come to think of it, what can I do if I were to be given the time? I had the whole of today, but there is just no one that I can go out with. Even if there is, I can't think of anything that I would really like to do. Maybe, I would like to go down to the beach, go to Downtown East or just go relax somewhere perhaps a spa. Actually, as long I can be with someone I wanna be with, I dun mind stoning.
Well, maybe this is going to sound rather loser, something that I hate to admit. There is nothing constructive that I have done over the weekend. SIANZ.. is the exact word to describe. I need some excitements in my life. Well, I going to jump back into mugging again when all the tests starts coming, maybe by then I won't have the chance to think of all these stupid stuffs.
Pardon the lousy entry, I'm writing crap, just wanna vent some frustrations.
I am really quite sick of this cycle. Yet come to think of it, what can I do if I were to be given the time? I had the whole of today, but there is just no one that I can go out with. Even if there is, I can't think of anything that I would really like to do. Maybe, I would like to go down to the beach, go to Downtown East or just go relax somewhere perhaps a spa. Actually, as long I can be with someone I wanna be with, I dun mind stoning.
Well, maybe this is going to sound rather loser, something that I hate to admit. There is nothing constructive that I have done over the weekend. SIANZ.. is the exact word to describe. I need some excitements in my life. Well, I going to jump back into mugging again when all the tests starts coming, maybe by then I won't have the chance to think of all these stupid stuffs.
Pardon the lousy entry, I'm writing crap, just wanna vent some frustrations.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Problematic PBL and Me
Again come the time to struggle between writing or sleeping. I write.
I've spent most of my hometime staring at this screen today, simply for the problem-based learning(PBL) session tomolo. Perhaps, I seriously dun take this lesson seriously. Yet thru the search for the materials (actually its dental materials) I'm supposed to present tomolo, I've found several more interesting facts of dentistry. However, I shall not burden u guys with something that "interesting", coz I presume most will not even have the slightest keeness of knowing more about them. Of course unless u r a dental student, even then still maybe not. Well, anyways the story end of the same way. I'm going to smoke my way (hopefully) through tomolo. I swear i did put in effort to get my work done for the past 3-4 hrs.
I did not realised I was on the com for so long, perhaps becoz I was chatting with Lulin and sending her photos with the HELLO picture sharing program. Its really quite cute. Smiley faces will zoom down the screen when u msg ur frd a smiley face. (She is my only frd on the list, ie its exclusive) Though I was stunned the 1st time I saw it. Anyways, we managed to keep ourselves entertained and at the same time struggling to search for journals with my super slow navigator.
A small surprise today, kept me happy for the day. Its now in my cabinet of nice, nice things.
I guess the only worry I have is my backache, simply becoz its weird. Perhaps, I'm the only one who got backache while swallowing food, provided I ate with my right hand. Left is fine. Who on earth can believe this except myself? Even I can't. Somehow my MVP doesnt seems that bad anymore, Prof said most ppl dun die if proper treatment is adminstered if an infection does occur. So I guess my worry of me collapsing out of the blue is kind of silly. Perhaps, I may still collapse well at least its comforting to know that probably I can be saved. Most importantly of all, I study at NUH, if I were to collapse in school, help is super near.
Treasure Health, Worship Life.
I've spent most of my hometime staring at this screen today, simply for the problem-based learning(PBL) session tomolo. Perhaps, I seriously dun take this lesson seriously. Yet thru the search for the materials (actually its dental materials) I'm supposed to present tomolo, I've found several more interesting facts of dentistry. However, I shall not burden u guys with something that "interesting", coz I presume most will not even have the slightest keeness of knowing more about them. Of course unless u r a dental student, even then still maybe not. Well, anyways the story end of the same way. I'm going to smoke my way (hopefully) through tomolo. I swear i did put in effort to get my work done for the past 3-4 hrs.
I did not realised I was on the com for so long, perhaps becoz I was chatting with Lulin and sending her photos with the HELLO picture sharing program. Its really quite cute. Smiley faces will zoom down the screen when u msg ur frd a smiley face. (She is my only frd on the list, ie its exclusive) Though I was stunned the 1st time I saw it. Anyways, we managed to keep ourselves entertained and at the same time struggling to search for journals with my super slow navigator.
A small surprise today, kept me happy for the day. Its now in my cabinet of nice, nice things.
I guess the only worry I have is my backache, simply becoz its weird. Perhaps, I'm the only one who got backache while swallowing food, provided I ate with my right hand. Left is fine. Who on earth can believe this except myself? Even I can't. Somehow my MVP doesnt seems that bad anymore, Prof said most ppl dun die if proper treatment is adminstered if an infection does occur. So I guess my worry of me collapsing out of the blue is kind of silly. Perhaps, I may still collapse well at least its comforting to know that probably I can be saved. Most importantly of all, I study at NUH, if I were to collapse in school, help is super near.
Treasure Health, Worship Life.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Soul Therapy
Sadly, I struggled to decide whether to write my blog or do other more worthy stuff, such as studying for my test on coming Saturday and sleeping. For once I defeated the Mug Devil and Zzz Monster. I figured that I should write for soul therapy. Perhaps after not writing for so long, I've lost touched. Lotsa of thoughts rushing, yet no words typing.
Things are moving very fast for me. So fast, I felt I was in a dream.
Things are changing rapidly around me. So rapid, I felt I was left behind.
Works comes and works done, I questioned if I've learnt enough. The very fact that I could possibly graduate in 2yrs 8mths time delight me, yet cast fear in me. The simplest question: Do I know what I am doing? Remained a myth. I could do labworks, I could study for tests, I could attend lectures and pretend I understand. But does it equates to my competency. I swear I've tried. I've reassured. I've yet to convince myself. I am always trying to move faster, ahead of the crowd. Maybe I'm competitive, maybe I don't feel good behind, perhaps I feel good to be ahead. Whatever the reason, the cause. The fact is that I do rush. I bet the whole of my class too. But is that a reason good enough for me to compromise? I've compromised I know I did. Perfectionism is a thing of my past. Perhaps, the only comfort I can get is the fact that I do understand. I know what I am doing. I shall not doubt my peers though I do worry for some. Yet, why worry?
The relationship of the class has changed and is changing. Eugene once said only change remained constant in life. Perhaps, this change was unsurprising though rather uncomfortable. Groups formed or should I just said friendship forged. I was upset that I was excluded in some, yet glad that I've found more worthy companions. Somehow, I felt that groups are always formed when people started excluding others, and eventually form a group of people that have not been excluded. Fortunately or unfortunately, this is the way people behave. I should have taken things at its stride, yet a comment recently struck me hard.
"People are less friendly these days"
I said no, though I figured its rather true. People are only friendly to those in their "group", although some are less exclusive than others. I dun blame them, in fact I do behave that way as well. Though I do feel uncomfortable under that setting. I keep looking through the class photo last year and tried to recall how nice it was when everyone likes everyone. Perhaps its the competition in school, or perhaps its just natural that things move this way. My only hope is that I dun hear bad-mouthings or backstabbings. I only feel safe with those that I could trust. Maybe that's another reason why people group together, just to feel safe, just to feel included. But its sad to see that ppl conformed for the sake of staying on in their own group. And yet again, perhaps its only natural that people do change.
That's quite a cynical and perhaps depressing entry. Well, at the very least, I am able to accept mouthings and stabbings better, and hopefully practise forgiveness. Be nice I'll try.
Things are moving very fast for me. So fast, I felt I was in a dream.
Things are changing rapidly around me. So rapid, I felt I was left behind.
Works comes and works done, I questioned if I've learnt enough. The very fact that I could possibly graduate in 2yrs 8mths time delight me, yet cast fear in me. The simplest question: Do I know what I am doing? Remained a myth. I could do labworks, I could study for tests, I could attend lectures and pretend I understand. But does it equates to my competency. I swear I've tried. I've reassured. I've yet to convince myself. I am always trying to move faster, ahead of the crowd. Maybe I'm competitive, maybe I don't feel good behind, perhaps I feel good to be ahead. Whatever the reason, the cause. The fact is that I do rush. I bet the whole of my class too. But is that a reason good enough for me to compromise? I've compromised I know I did. Perfectionism is a thing of my past. Perhaps, the only comfort I can get is the fact that I do understand. I know what I am doing. I shall not doubt my peers though I do worry for some. Yet, why worry?
The relationship of the class has changed and is changing. Eugene once said only change remained constant in life. Perhaps, this change was unsurprising though rather uncomfortable. Groups formed or should I just said friendship forged. I was upset that I was excluded in some, yet glad that I've found more worthy companions. Somehow, I felt that groups are always formed when people started excluding others, and eventually form a group of people that have not been excluded. Fortunately or unfortunately, this is the way people behave. I should have taken things at its stride, yet a comment recently struck me hard.
"People are less friendly these days"
I said no, though I figured its rather true. People are only friendly to those in their "group", although some are less exclusive than others. I dun blame them, in fact I do behave that way as well. Though I do feel uncomfortable under that setting. I keep looking through the class photo last year and tried to recall how nice it was when everyone likes everyone. Perhaps its the competition in school, or perhaps its just natural that things move this way. My only hope is that I dun hear bad-mouthings or backstabbings. I only feel safe with those that I could trust. Maybe that's another reason why people group together, just to feel safe, just to feel included. But its sad to see that ppl conformed for the sake of staying on in their own group. And yet again, perhaps its only natural that people do change.
That's quite a cynical and perhaps depressing entry. Well, at the very least, I am able to accept mouthings and stabbings better, and hopefully practise forgiveness. Be nice I'll try.
1st Picture
Me and Lulin
Well, finally I figured out how to put pictures on my blog. Good try I figured.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Com Screwed Again
I declare myself a total computer idiot. I stupidly downloaded the SP2 to update my laptop unknowningly that it clashes with the NUS system. And therefore the whole system crashed again. Once again I cannot access my wireless that I am paying almost 70 bucks every month. Well, looking at the brighter (less dim perhaps) side, I will not be wasting time on MSN and can spend more time on sleeping or mugging for my coming tests.
Well, so far so good, just left with a Pharmacology Term exam coming next Friday. The rest of the tests went quite well I guess. Given the lack of motivation and effort, I guess getting a pass will be more than sufficient for me. Somehow I've lost that drive, or maybe I have diverted it to my lab work that seems to be more impt to me now.
Anyways, life as a dental student is just gonna be as such I figured. Stuck in a viscious cycle of tests after tests, lab works and more lab works. Sometimes, I'll feel so guilty for not catching up with my old friends. Especially now with my internet down and msnless. Well, take care ppl, dun forget me, I'm still alive though school is tough. Somehow I figured that we will always get there (graduate with our dearest BDS).
Signing off.. using student lounge computer..
Well, so far so good, just left with a Pharmacology Term exam coming next Friday. The rest of the tests went quite well I guess. Given the lack of motivation and effort, I guess getting a pass will be more than sufficient for me. Somehow I've lost that drive, or maybe I have diverted it to my lab work that seems to be more impt to me now.
Anyways, life as a dental student is just gonna be as such I figured. Stuck in a viscious cycle of tests after tests, lab works and more lab works. Sometimes, I'll feel so guilty for not catching up with my old friends. Especially now with my internet down and msnless. Well, take care ppl, dun forget me, I'm still alive though school is tough. Somehow I figured that we will always get there (graduate with our dearest BDS).
Signing off.. using student lounge computer..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)