This blog is going to be delicated for my gal. This very 1st line is so hard to write. Perhaps, I'm just paiseh to shout out to the whole world that I'm so in love with her. So everytime when I wanna write about all the nice nice things she has done for me. I would be rather subtle. Or perhaps, I'm just selfish. I refused to share all these stuffs with other ppl. Think I really dun wanna share.
Never will I praise her, so that others will never get to see why she is the love of my life. Legolas once joked that why on earth will I fall for a gal like her. I said, I've found a treasure that he has failed to see.
I'm not saying she is perfect. Well, perfect for me though. I guess I shd not continue. Dun wanna turn my blog into a love letter station. Our privacy r our own. I just wanna tell the world and her, I'm glad I've found her. I know u r not perfect, and I'm sorry that neither am I. Hope u r glad to be with me.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Loneliness?
I concluded I am afraid of loneliness. I dreaded coming home today becoz I know the whole of my family are staying over at Downtown East Chalets tonight. Maybe I'm just born this way. I love to be with ppl. Perhaps, I feel so much more secure. Actually not. I realised I just don't like to be alone. And I can be secure alone like now. Most ppl actually ended up spending most of their life alone. I hope I won't.
Fortunate me had Lulin. She decided to eat dinner with me. That made my day I guess. Even getting a C for my Pharm test dun upset me. (Pls note that I am a rather competitive man. Maybe some might say that I shd not complain since I have passed.) Just wanna thank her. Too tired now to write now. Perhaps another day.
Fortunate me had Lulin. She decided to eat dinner with me. That made my day I guess. Even getting a C for my Pharm test dun upset me. (Pls note that I am a rather competitive man. Maybe some might say that I shd not complain since I have passed.) Just wanna thank her. Too tired now to write now. Perhaps another day.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
SIANZzzzz.
Before I knew it, weekend is already over. Its just sad that I did not do anything that I wanted to. Perhaps life is just mundane for me. School is just too long. Everyday even Saturday, I barely had enough rest and fun, and I and jumping back to work again.
I am really quite sick of this cycle. Yet come to think of it, what can I do if I were to be given the time? I had the whole of today, but there is just no one that I can go out with. Even if there is, I can't think of anything that I would really like to do. Maybe, I would like to go down to the beach, go to Downtown East or just go relax somewhere perhaps a spa. Actually, as long I can be with someone I wanna be with, I dun mind stoning.
Well, maybe this is going to sound rather loser, something that I hate to admit. There is nothing constructive that I have done over the weekend. SIANZ.. is the exact word to describe. I need some excitements in my life. Well, I going to jump back into mugging again when all the tests starts coming, maybe by then I won't have the chance to think of all these stupid stuffs.
Pardon the lousy entry, I'm writing crap, just wanna vent some frustrations.
I am really quite sick of this cycle. Yet come to think of it, what can I do if I were to be given the time? I had the whole of today, but there is just no one that I can go out with. Even if there is, I can't think of anything that I would really like to do. Maybe, I would like to go down to the beach, go to Downtown East or just go relax somewhere perhaps a spa. Actually, as long I can be with someone I wanna be with, I dun mind stoning.
Well, maybe this is going to sound rather loser, something that I hate to admit. There is nothing constructive that I have done over the weekend. SIANZ.. is the exact word to describe. I need some excitements in my life. Well, I going to jump back into mugging again when all the tests starts coming, maybe by then I won't have the chance to think of all these stupid stuffs.
Pardon the lousy entry, I'm writing crap, just wanna vent some frustrations.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Problematic PBL and Me
Again come the time to struggle between writing or sleeping. I write.
I've spent most of my hometime staring at this screen today, simply for the problem-based learning(PBL) session tomolo. Perhaps, I seriously dun take this lesson seriously. Yet thru the search for the materials (actually its dental materials) I'm supposed to present tomolo, I've found several more interesting facts of dentistry. However, I shall not burden u guys with something that "interesting", coz I presume most will not even have the slightest keeness of knowing more about them. Of course unless u r a dental student, even then still maybe not. Well, anyways the story end of the same way. I'm going to smoke my way (hopefully) through tomolo. I swear i did put in effort to get my work done for the past 3-4 hrs.
I did not realised I was on the com for so long, perhaps becoz I was chatting with Lulin and sending her photos with the HELLO picture sharing program. Its really quite cute. Smiley faces will zoom down the screen when u msg ur frd a smiley face. (She is my only frd on the list, ie its exclusive) Though I was stunned the 1st time I saw it. Anyways, we managed to keep ourselves entertained and at the same time struggling to search for journals with my super slow navigator.
A small surprise today, kept me happy for the day. Its now in my cabinet of nice, nice things.
I guess the only worry I have is my backache, simply becoz its weird. Perhaps, I'm the only one who got backache while swallowing food, provided I ate with my right hand. Left is fine. Who on earth can believe this except myself? Even I can't. Somehow my MVP doesnt seems that bad anymore, Prof said most ppl dun die if proper treatment is adminstered if an infection does occur. So I guess my worry of me collapsing out of the blue is kind of silly. Perhaps, I may still collapse well at least its comforting to know that probably I can be saved. Most importantly of all, I study at NUH, if I were to collapse in school, help is super near.
Treasure Health, Worship Life.
I've spent most of my hometime staring at this screen today, simply for the problem-based learning(PBL) session tomolo. Perhaps, I seriously dun take this lesson seriously. Yet thru the search for the materials (actually its dental materials) I'm supposed to present tomolo, I've found several more interesting facts of dentistry. However, I shall not burden u guys with something that "interesting", coz I presume most will not even have the slightest keeness of knowing more about them. Of course unless u r a dental student, even then still maybe not. Well, anyways the story end of the same way. I'm going to smoke my way (hopefully) through tomolo. I swear i did put in effort to get my work done for the past 3-4 hrs.
I did not realised I was on the com for so long, perhaps becoz I was chatting with Lulin and sending her photos with the HELLO picture sharing program. Its really quite cute. Smiley faces will zoom down the screen when u msg ur frd a smiley face. (She is my only frd on the list, ie its exclusive) Though I was stunned the 1st time I saw it. Anyways, we managed to keep ourselves entertained and at the same time struggling to search for journals with my super slow navigator.
A small surprise today, kept me happy for the day. Its now in my cabinet of nice, nice things.
I guess the only worry I have is my backache, simply becoz its weird. Perhaps, I'm the only one who got backache while swallowing food, provided I ate with my right hand. Left is fine. Who on earth can believe this except myself? Even I can't. Somehow my MVP doesnt seems that bad anymore, Prof said most ppl dun die if proper treatment is adminstered if an infection does occur. So I guess my worry of me collapsing out of the blue is kind of silly. Perhaps, I may still collapse well at least its comforting to know that probably I can be saved. Most importantly of all, I study at NUH, if I were to collapse in school, help is super near.
Treasure Health, Worship Life.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Soul Therapy
Sadly, I struggled to decide whether to write my blog or do other more worthy stuff, such as studying for my test on coming Saturday and sleeping. For once I defeated the Mug Devil and Zzz Monster. I figured that I should write for soul therapy. Perhaps after not writing for so long, I've lost touched. Lotsa of thoughts rushing, yet no words typing.
Things are moving very fast for me. So fast, I felt I was in a dream.
Things are changing rapidly around me. So rapid, I felt I was left behind.
Works comes and works done, I questioned if I've learnt enough. The very fact that I could possibly graduate in 2yrs 8mths time delight me, yet cast fear in me. The simplest question: Do I know what I am doing? Remained a myth. I could do labworks, I could study for tests, I could attend lectures and pretend I understand. But does it equates to my competency. I swear I've tried. I've reassured. I've yet to convince myself. I am always trying to move faster, ahead of the crowd. Maybe I'm competitive, maybe I don't feel good behind, perhaps I feel good to be ahead. Whatever the reason, the cause. The fact is that I do rush. I bet the whole of my class too. But is that a reason good enough for me to compromise? I've compromised I know I did. Perfectionism is a thing of my past. Perhaps, the only comfort I can get is the fact that I do understand. I know what I am doing. I shall not doubt my peers though I do worry for some. Yet, why worry?
The relationship of the class has changed and is changing. Eugene once said only change remained constant in life. Perhaps, this change was unsurprising though rather uncomfortable. Groups formed or should I just said friendship forged. I was upset that I was excluded in some, yet glad that I've found more worthy companions. Somehow, I felt that groups are always formed when people started excluding others, and eventually form a group of people that have not been excluded. Fortunately or unfortunately, this is the way people behave. I should have taken things at its stride, yet a comment recently struck me hard.
"People are less friendly these days"
I said no, though I figured its rather true. People are only friendly to those in their "group", although some are less exclusive than others. I dun blame them, in fact I do behave that way as well. Though I do feel uncomfortable under that setting. I keep looking through the class photo last year and tried to recall how nice it was when everyone likes everyone. Perhaps its the competition in school, or perhaps its just natural that things move this way. My only hope is that I dun hear bad-mouthings or backstabbings. I only feel safe with those that I could trust. Maybe that's another reason why people group together, just to feel safe, just to feel included. But its sad to see that ppl conformed for the sake of staying on in their own group. And yet again, perhaps its only natural that people do change.
That's quite a cynical and perhaps depressing entry. Well, at the very least, I am able to accept mouthings and stabbings better, and hopefully practise forgiveness. Be nice I'll try.
Things are moving very fast for me. So fast, I felt I was in a dream.
Things are changing rapidly around me. So rapid, I felt I was left behind.
Works comes and works done, I questioned if I've learnt enough. The very fact that I could possibly graduate in 2yrs 8mths time delight me, yet cast fear in me. The simplest question: Do I know what I am doing? Remained a myth. I could do labworks, I could study for tests, I could attend lectures and pretend I understand. But does it equates to my competency. I swear I've tried. I've reassured. I've yet to convince myself. I am always trying to move faster, ahead of the crowd. Maybe I'm competitive, maybe I don't feel good behind, perhaps I feel good to be ahead. Whatever the reason, the cause. The fact is that I do rush. I bet the whole of my class too. But is that a reason good enough for me to compromise? I've compromised I know I did. Perfectionism is a thing of my past. Perhaps, the only comfort I can get is the fact that I do understand. I know what I am doing. I shall not doubt my peers though I do worry for some. Yet, why worry?
The relationship of the class has changed and is changing. Eugene once said only change remained constant in life. Perhaps, this change was unsurprising though rather uncomfortable. Groups formed or should I just said friendship forged. I was upset that I was excluded in some, yet glad that I've found more worthy companions. Somehow, I felt that groups are always formed when people started excluding others, and eventually form a group of people that have not been excluded. Fortunately or unfortunately, this is the way people behave. I should have taken things at its stride, yet a comment recently struck me hard.
"People are less friendly these days"
I said no, though I figured its rather true. People are only friendly to those in their "group", although some are less exclusive than others. I dun blame them, in fact I do behave that way as well. Though I do feel uncomfortable under that setting. I keep looking through the class photo last year and tried to recall how nice it was when everyone likes everyone. Perhaps its the competition in school, or perhaps its just natural that things move this way. My only hope is that I dun hear bad-mouthings or backstabbings. I only feel safe with those that I could trust. Maybe that's another reason why people group together, just to feel safe, just to feel included. But its sad to see that ppl conformed for the sake of staying on in their own group. And yet again, perhaps its only natural that people do change.
That's quite a cynical and perhaps depressing entry. Well, at the very least, I am able to accept mouthings and stabbings better, and hopefully practise forgiveness. Be nice I'll try.
1st Picture
Me and Lulin
Well, finally I figured out how to put pictures on my blog. Good try I figured.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Com Screwed Again
I declare myself a total computer idiot. I stupidly downloaded the SP2 to update my laptop unknowningly that it clashes with the NUS system. And therefore the whole system crashed again. Once again I cannot access my wireless that I am paying almost 70 bucks every month. Well, looking at the brighter (less dim perhaps) side, I will not be wasting time on MSN and can spend more time on sleeping or mugging for my coming tests.
Well, so far so good, just left with a Pharmacology Term exam coming next Friday. The rest of the tests went quite well I guess. Given the lack of motivation and effort, I guess getting a pass will be more than sufficient for me. Somehow I've lost that drive, or maybe I have diverted it to my lab work that seems to be more impt to me now.
Anyways, life as a dental student is just gonna be as such I figured. Stuck in a viscious cycle of tests after tests, lab works and more lab works. Sometimes, I'll feel so guilty for not catching up with my old friends. Especially now with my internet down and msnless. Well, take care ppl, dun forget me, I'm still alive though school is tough. Somehow I figured that we will always get there (graduate with our dearest BDS).
Signing off.. using student lounge computer..
Well, so far so good, just left with a Pharmacology Term exam coming next Friday. The rest of the tests went quite well I guess. Given the lack of motivation and effort, I guess getting a pass will be more than sufficient for me. Somehow I've lost that drive, or maybe I have diverted it to my lab work that seems to be more impt to me now.
Anyways, life as a dental student is just gonna be as such I figured. Stuck in a viscious cycle of tests after tests, lab works and more lab works. Sometimes, I'll feel so guilty for not catching up with my old friends. Especially now with my internet down and msnless. Well, take care ppl, dun forget me, I'm still alive though school is tough. Somehow I figured that we will always get there (graduate with our dearest BDS).
Signing off.. using student lounge computer..
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Holiday? Not Quite..
Finally the long awaited so-called holiday came. School ended well with 2 impressions and 4 casts poured. Not to forget Trifac bash where the Juniors came in 1st in the dance competition. Quite a surprise to bump into a couple a old friends that night. Wendy came as one of the judges and Wee Lin which I met while giving out the door gift with Lulin. I went thru the day with my stupid flu and sore throat which is showing no signs of recovery. Sleep more perhaps I should.
Well, although vacation is supposed to begin tomorrow yet I'll still be waking up early and be on my way to NUS simply for a 1hr lecture on Pathology. Which kind of sux. And I realised that its going to be this way for quite a no. of days. So I guess I'll still be in school rather often. On top of that, I figured that this holiday should be renamed as a study break. Well right after my hols there will be 4 tests coming. Dental materials which till now I have no idea where to read up from. Occlusion which I have managed to sustained a 100% sleeping in lectures record. (Reason I dun sleep in Dental Material is becoz its Prof Chew conducting the lecture who will have no qualm to kick your ass right out of his class). Pathology, which without background of Histology I'm still in a total blur. Pharmacology, the best amongst all I figured I managed to listen in lectures but still without a text to refer to I'm still kind of lost. Well I guess the worse part is that I am totally not in the mood to mug. Perhaps that thinking needs reformation. Better be within these few days. I know I've got to work.. Perhaps its just a bit hard to get the engine started.
Well, at least I have something to look forward to every morning when I force myself to get up of bed and drag myself to school. Seeing her is perhaps the best thing about school. Though sometimes I'll be rather distracted in a crowd. I know that i can get quite crazy and loud when I'm with bunch of ppl. Still, my eyes will be on you. This is perhaps the very 1st blog entry delicated to you after saying for so long. Well, I understand why you will feel neglected at times, I'll probably feel the same if I were you. Yet, I figured I'm just like that when I'm in a crowd. Thanks for trying to understand and bearing with me. Not many can. I must say that I'm glad to be with you. Fortunate I must say I am.
I kind of digress from my issue that this hols is not quite the same as the norm. Well, like I said at least I wun mind school that much with you around. Still to all my fellow classmates : Happy Holidays.
Well, although vacation is supposed to begin tomorrow yet I'll still be waking up early and be on my way to NUS simply for a 1hr lecture on Pathology. Which kind of sux. And I realised that its going to be this way for quite a no. of days. So I guess I'll still be in school rather often. On top of that, I figured that this holiday should be renamed as a study break. Well right after my hols there will be 4 tests coming. Dental materials which till now I have no idea where to read up from. Occlusion which I have managed to sustained a 100% sleeping in lectures record. (Reason I dun sleep in Dental Material is becoz its Prof Chew conducting the lecture who will have no qualm to kick your ass right out of his class). Pathology, which without background of Histology I'm still in a total blur. Pharmacology, the best amongst all I figured I managed to listen in lectures but still without a text to refer to I'm still kind of lost. Well I guess the worse part is that I am totally not in the mood to mug. Perhaps that thinking needs reformation. Better be within these few days. I know I've got to work.. Perhaps its just a bit hard to get the engine started.
Well, at least I have something to look forward to every morning when I force myself to get up of bed and drag myself to school. Seeing her is perhaps the best thing about school. Though sometimes I'll be rather distracted in a crowd. I know that i can get quite crazy and loud when I'm with bunch of ppl. Still, my eyes will be on you. This is perhaps the very 1st blog entry delicated to you after saying for so long. Well, I understand why you will feel neglected at times, I'll probably feel the same if I were you. Yet, I figured I'm just like that when I'm in a crowd. Thanks for trying to understand and bearing with me. Not many can. I must say that I'm glad to be with you. Fortunate I must say I am.
I kind of digress from my issue that this hols is not quite the same as the norm. Well, like I said at least I wun mind school that much with you around. Still to all my fellow classmates : Happy Holidays.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Finally... I'm Back
Finally, this supposedly helpful, useful or whatever piece of technology is fixed.. In fact, its not really fixed yet. Still have some screw up here and there that I just can't pin point. For all who dunno my laptop was down since donkey months ago. I just checked my mails and realised that I have a good 150 emails b4 my mailbox was declared flooded. So sorry to all that have emailed me or been trying to contact me through the internet. Well, I was too lazy to go through all the mails as well.. so I sort of pressed Ctrl A and Del.. Erm.. so dun be surprised if u dun get my reply.. Not that its worth anything.. Well.. So many things happened within this few months that I can even believe how I survived so long without the internet.. Maybe becoz I got other focus in life :)
Anyways will be writing something more decent the next time. Kind of tired after trying to figure out how to fix this thing for so long.. Sorry to my fans if there is any that u guys waited so long. And i've lost all my emails contacts so friends out there if u see this entry can u please just drop me a mail. I swear i wun anyhow delete anymore.. I hope..
Anyways will be writing something more decent the next time. Kind of tired after trying to figure out how to fix this thing for so long.. Sorry to my fans if there is any that u guys waited so long. And i've lost all my emails contacts so friends out there if u see this entry can u please just drop me a mail. I swear i wun anyhow delete anymore.. I hope..
Friday, July 09, 2004
Fight Back To School
Well, so far so good. 1st week of school is just 1/2 day away from over. I guess the pressure has not built up yet. Maybe we r kind of used to the lab lifestyle. Its no longer that much of a cultural shock to me anymore. I have gotten used to the fact that we will be rushing to finish the unfinishable job no matter how fast u can be. So the best way is simply to take things at ur own pace and just got to make sure that u dun fall to far back behind. To the few who got the bad news again on Monday. Dun get disheartened. Coz the race has just started only. We will get there eventually together. Still we have to work hard just to make sure.
Perhaps all the tests and bugging stuffs have not enter the stress picture yet. That's why I am still going out every other day. Maybe I shd take some time to rest and stop fall asleep in class and not miss anymore class(which I have in fact missed 2 for the 1st week). So much for school I guess.
I've got a couple of good news for the week I guess. That have kept me entertained and delighted for the week. The upset will probably be Portugal's defeat again and my laptop is getting from bad to worse, Trojan Bugs proliferate. Can't wait to go get my Adidas Bag.
Perhaps all the tests and bugging stuffs have not enter the stress picture yet. That's why I am still going out every other day. Maybe I shd take some time to rest and stop fall asleep in class and not miss anymore class(which I have in fact missed 2 for the 1st week). So much for school I guess.
I've got a couple of good news for the week I guess. That have kept me entertained and delighted for the week. The upset will probably be Portugal's defeat again and my laptop is getting from bad to worse, Trojan Bugs proliferate. Can't wait to go get my Adidas Bag.
Sunday, July 04, 2004
Last Day Of Hols & Euro.
What a great way to spend my last day of the holidays. Bumming ard at home doing nothing. Read camera user guide which luckily turned out to be quite useful. Watched a super duper lame HK VCD. Slept my afternoon away. The most exciting today is probably getting to drive my cousin-in-law Hyundai Sonata. Well, its definitely one of the largest car I have driven. I was a bit shocked when he asked me to drive his car and tell me that if i need the car I can ask from him if I want to. Well.. I would really like to drive for APDSA and 75th Anniversary dinner though, but still driving someone else's car still have a certain stress factor. I was rather tense coz I really dun wanna cause any damage. Moreover he entrusted me with the car without doubt. Anyways, I'm quite a safe driver I must say.
I was thinking back of this hols and was glad that it was quite well spent. I have more happy days than sad days. Nothing can really upset me except for one I guess. Someone asked me how's things going? All I can said is things are fine I guess. The truth is that I am not quite sure how I ended up in thing situation. But I'm okay with it. So just let things be I guess.
Not much inspirational thoughts these days. Sorry for the boring entry. Guess the incoming entries will be more on bitching about work and school. And Lets Hope Portugal Can Beat Greece Later!
I was thinking back of this hols and was glad that it was quite well spent. I have more happy days than sad days. Nothing can really upset me except for one I guess. Someone asked me how's things going? All I can said is things are fine I guess. The truth is that I am not quite sure how I ended up in thing situation. But I'm okay with it. So just let things be I guess.
Not much inspirational thoughts these days. Sorry for the boring entry. Guess the incoming entries will be more on bitching about work and school. And Lets Hope Portugal Can Beat Greece Later!
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Just Updates
Many have commented that I have not been writing. I guess really have nothing significant to say that I could say here. Anyways this 3 weeks hols is rather enjoyable. Although most of the time I spent in on the coming FOC, be it for presentation, for games and canvassing. I really do find working together with my classmates very enjoyable. We are always make working together fun, Perhaps with the crap we crapped. Except for the rude doctor I've met on Friday. The whole FOC preparation has definitely been more enjoyable than I have expected myself to.
I have always been a rather individualistic person. I usually dun like to work in group even in pair. Perhaps, I am rather self-centred or I just simply like to work alone. Well.. I guess we all have to learn to work with others. I think I am not doing a fantastic jobs. Coz misunderstandings always happen becoz I rarely see others' view I guess it really voice down to my style of work. Sorry to those that I have irritated becoz of my insensitivity. I really do not mean it. I will try to work better with u guys but please try to understand.
Anyways, class gathering was quite nice. Its quite a homely gathering, its always nice to see the old faces around. Doing some catching-up with these old friends. Pot-Luck did not screw up this time round, thanks to Wayne. Too bad we did not get to kill Pinakin. Maybe some other time. Anyways got to thank Wayne for offering his place. Eugene for coming out with the idea. And everyone who brought food including myself. By the way, Shuling ur mudpie is really very nice, although I indeed got tummyache after that. U will make a good housewife.
Hopefully this entry can satisfy some of my loyal readers like Wanyi.
I have always been a rather individualistic person. I usually dun like to work in group even in pair. Perhaps, I am rather self-centred or I just simply like to work alone. Well.. I guess we all have to learn to work with others. I think I am not doing a fantastic jobs. Coz misunderstandings always happen becoz I rarely see others' view I guess it really voice down to my style of work. Sorry to those that I have irritated becoz of my insensitivity. I really do not mean it. I will try to work better with u guys but please try to understand.
Anyways, class gathering was quite nice. Its quite a homely gathering, its always nice to see the old faces around. Doing some catching-up with these old friends. Pot-Luck did not screw up this time round, thanks to Wayne. Too bad we did not get to kill Pinakin. Maybe some other time. Anyways got to thank Wayne for offering his place. Eugene for coming out with the idea. And everyone who brought food including myself. By the way, Shuling ur mudpie is really very nice, although I indeed got tummyache after that. U will make a good housewife.
Hopefully this entry can satisfy some of my loyal readers like Wanyi.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Holiday Again
Finally special term is over. Yet as I compared this special term to the whole of my Yr 1 life. I definitely must say that special term is a lot more interesting and related to my course. I love working in the lab and clinic. Hated lectures these days. Perhaps becoz I find it very boring and dry. And I have this tendency to get caught sleeping in lecture though I always hide myself already. Anyways its over.
Yet come to think of it. Its only the beginning. I foresee our Yr 2 life to be as such. I can't wait to learn more and be more competent as a clinician. But to do that perhaps I should stay awake more often in lecture.
Anyways, still I thank god for the hols. Needed a break. Not much plans for the hols except to rest and play. Perhaps Swim, Windsurf and watch Euro and a long awaited JC-class outing. Hopefully can have more soccer sessions, coz I'm having a soccer fever.
Yet come to think of it. Its only the beginning. I foresee our Yr 2 life to be as such. I can't wait to learn more and be more competent as a clinician. But to do that perhaps I should stay awake more often in lecture.
Anyways, still I thank god for the hols. Needed a break. Not much plans for the hols except to rest and play. Perhaps Swim, Windsurf and watch Euro and a long awaited JC-class outing. Hopefully can have more soccer sessions, coz I'm having a soccer fever.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Unlucky Yet I Felt OK
Well, before I start my entry on how bad was my day yesterday. I must thank all who showered me with care and concern. And Kenneth for special mention in his blog. Now let me begin.
Everything started with this small infection at my lower lip, which I must clarify once again that it is definitely not Herpes or STDs or watever. Its just an infected wound due to my itchy fingers. With that, my immune system starts to collapse ard the region. Lymph nodes starts to swells and suddenly I feel pain at the TMJ area on Monday. I foolishy thought that it will just go away after a while. I was wrong. It got worse at night and I think when the clock hit 12 midnight everything took a turn for the worse. The beginning of the worst day of my life. The pain kept me up the whole night. I might have dozed off for a few minutes before the pain woke me up again. I used ice and extra strong Panadol X2. Yet, nothing seems to help.
I am determined to go through my Occulsion lesson becoz there was a clinic session. I really dun want to miss it. Not only becoz I will lag behind the class, I will make my lab partner suffer with me also. Becoz we are supposed to practise our techniques on each other. Sorry Clement to have slowed u down. But the pain was really unbearable that I decided to skip the lesson. I spent the whole morning waiting and waiting which I can understand totally becoz I did not have an appointment. I even fell asleep while waiting in Clinic 1 after I was referred from the Dental Centre to the OMS department. Anyways, at the end of the day I was given painkiller and was told that I am probably suffering from inflamation of the muscles of mastication. And nothing can be done except to take pain killers.
I happily thought that this will mark the end of my ordeal. Took the painkillers right after lunch. Within an hour or so, the pain was NOT killed instead my right eye started to swell. I am once again disfigured. Given my vanity I might have died looking in the mirror. It was a sign of drug allergy reaction. That's it, I'm screwed once again. It swell so badly that I can't even open my eye. I thought that I might be blinded. Anyways, eventually I went back to the dentist who prescribed me the medicine. She explained what's happening and prescribed me another painkiller. They even decided to take a picture of me for teaching purposes. Well, I'm fine with it.
Actually, thoughout this whole thing I dun feel very upset or anything. In fact, I feel okay. Just think that I am indeed very unlucky for the day. Probably becoz I have a good frd with me. She accompanied me to get ice for my swollen eye (Which Kopi Tiam actually charged us for it!!) and back to the clinic and to the pharmacy. Although she also wanna skip the HRM lesson.
Sorry to Wanyi and Puiling that I keep falling asleep when I was supposed to do the presentation. I think I must be the medication that I took that cause drowiness.
Oh have I not mentioned that this is not the end to my unlucky day. I was drenched on my way home. I was like, oh thanks for making the already unlucky day worse. But a phone call came and I feel immediate relief.
But somehow, I still feel quite okay. Dun feel angish or sad at all. Thanks to all my frds who SMS or called me etc. Sorry for not able to go windsurfing with u guys. Hopefully this weekend I will feel better. So much for being unlucky. Thankfully today is a better day.
Everything started with this small infection at my lower lip, which I must clarify once again that it is definitely not Herpes or STDs or watever. Its just an infected wound due to my itchy fingers. With that, my immune system starts to collapse ard the region. Lymph nodes starts to swells and suddenly I feel pain at the TMJ area on Monday. I foolishy thought that it will just go away after a while. I was wrong. It got worse at night and I think when the clock hit 12 midnight everything took a turn for the worse. The beginning of the worst day of my life. The pain kept me up the whole night. I might have dozed off for a few minutes before the pain woke me up again. I used ice and extra strong Panadol X2. Yet, nothing seems to help.
I am determined to go through my Occulsion lesson becoz there was a clinic session. I really dun want to miss it. Not only becoz I will lag behind the class, I will make my lab partner suffer with me also. Becoz we are supposed to practise our techniques on each other. Sorry Clement to have slowed u down. But the pain was really unbearable that I decided to skip the lesson. I spent the whole morning waiting and waiting which I can understand totally becoz I did not have an appointment. I even fell asleep while waiting in Clinic 1 after I was referred from the Dental Centre to the OMS department. Anyways, at the end of the day I was given painkiller and was told that I am probably suffering from inflamation of the muscles of mastication. And nothing can be done except to take pain killers.
I happily thought that this will mark the end of my ordeal. Took the painkillers right after lunch. Within an hour or so, the pain was NOT killed instead my right eye started to swell. I am once again disfigured. Given my vanity I might have died looking in the mirror. It was a sign of drug allergy reaction. That's it, I'm screwed once again. It swell so badly that I can't even open my eye. I thought that I might be blinded. Anyways, eventually I went back to the dentist who prescribed me the medicine. She explained what's happening and prescribed me another painkiller. They even decided to take a picture of me for teaching purposes. Well, I'm fine with it.
Actually, thoughout this whole thing I dun feel very upset or anything. In fact, I feel okay. Just think that I am indeed very unlucky for the day. Probably becoz I have a good frd with me. She accompanied me to get ice for my swollen eye (Which Kopi Tiam actually charged us for it!!) and back to the clinic and to the pharmacy. Although she also wanna skip the HRM lesson.
Sorry to Wanyi and Puiling that I keep falling asleep when I was supposed to do the presentation. I think I must be the medication that I took that cause drowiness.
Oh have I not mentioned that this is not the end to my unlucky day. I was drenched on my way home. I was like, oh thanks for making the already unlucky day worse. But a phone call came and I feel immediate relief.
But somehow, I still feel quite okay. Dun feel angish or sad at all. Thanks to all my frds who SMS or called me etc. Sorry for not able to go windsurfing with u guys. Hopefully this weekend I will feel better. So much for being unlucky. Thankfully today is a better day.
Friday, May 28, 2004
Tired Me? Tired Me Not?
Been feeling really tired these days. Perhaps its work, perhaps I'm old, perhaps I need a jog but probably I just need sleep.
Yet, I've been enjoying what I have been doing these days. Its just like wat ppl says if u enjoy wat u r doing, you won't mind even if its tiring. U may not even think that its tiring at all.
Still, physically and logically I do feel tired. So I slept since 7pm today. And yes I went for a jog just now at 12am. Quite nice to jog tonight coz its rather cool.
Tonight is rather a onlineless night. I figured that most of us must have been tired. I see lotsa tired faces in school these days. I kind of get used to the routine of special term already. And all the negative feelings that comes with it. Stress, frustrations, irritations, helplessness, giddiness, messiness, hunger and at times anger. I guess all these are self-imposed. Like wat Wei Song says he has more or less seen it through.
Was listening to Ai Qing Bu Neng Zuo Bi Jiao. Though its now exactly a new song. But I somehow kind of like it still. Maybe I am able to show empathy to whoever that been through that kind situation. Anyways I think I shd go sleep so there will be 1 less tired face tomolo.
Thank God I smell weekend.
Yet, I've been enjoying what I have been doing these days. Its just like wat ppl says if u enjoy wat u r doing, you won't mind even if its tiring. U may not even think that its tiring at all.
Still, physically and logically I do feel tired. So I slept since 7pm today. And yes I went for a jog just now at 12am. Quite nice to jog tonight coz its rather cool.
Tonight is rather a onlineless night. I figured that most of us must have been tired. I see lotsa tired faces in school these days. I kind of get used to the routine of special term already. And all the negative feelings that comes with it. Stress, frustrations, irritations, helplessness, giddiness, messiness, hunger and at times anger. I guess all these are self-imposed. Like wat Wei Song says he has more or less seen it through.
Was listening to Ai Qing Bu Neng Zuo Bi Jiao. Though its now exactly a new song. But I somehow kind of like it still. Maybe I am able to show empathy to whoever that been through that kind situation. Anyways I think I shd go sleep so there will be 1 less tired face tomolo.
Thank God I smell weekend.
Monday, May 24, 2004
Helen Keller
Weekend was over before I even realised it. Spent well with meeting old frds. Things seems pretty much the same. Usual talking, irritating each other and laughing at stupid jokes. We are still the same though we all know that we have moved on. In one way or another. But some things never change.
Yet the weekend ended in a far from ideal way. Perhaps, I chose to be so pissed. But I am indeed upset. Thanks to cute, small little gal for her Chunky Kit Kat. She is also known as Fantastic Gal. Decided to extend that for 1 more week since u bought me Kit Kat.
Anyways this blog is delicated to my e-pal. Really thank you for the e-card. Ur sms, emails and now e-cards. They always come at the right time when I was feeling really down. In the card it wrote:
"Keep Ur face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Its what the Sunflowers do." Helen Keller
My favourite is actually from her too. It says: "Your Heart has its reasons that reasons do not understand."
Anyways I just wanna thanks those who I grumbled to and those who r there. Thanks
Yet the weekend ended in a far from ideal way. Perhaps, I chose to be so pissed. But I am indeed upset. Thanks to cute, small little gal for her Chunky Kit Kat. She is also known as Fantastic Gal. Decided to extend that for 1 more week since u bought me Kit Kat.
Anyways this blog is delicated to my e-pal. Really thank you for the e-card. Ur sms, emails and now e-cards. They always come at the right time when I was feeling really down. In the card it wrote:
"Keep Ur face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Its what the Sunflowers do." Helen Keller
My favourite is actually from her too. It says: "Your Heart has its reasons that reasons do not understand."
Anyways I just wanna thanks those who I grumbled to and those who r there. Thanks
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Good Weekday End
A good end to the weekdays perhaps. Finally, I managed to complete whatever lab work I have to do. Begining to enjoy doing them rather than to work fast simply for the fact of completing my schedule. Guess I was being rather impatient. Patience has to be cultivated I figured. Still have a lot to work on it.
Went to Bugis after discussing the "skit" which we took less than 1/2 hr. Perhaps we r quite bo chup, but somehow things will definitely work out somehow. I have faith in my grp that in one way or another, we definitely can create some form of entertainment. Make work fun, then its no longer work. Applies to labwork as well.
Very glad that we went out after school, though I have been out everyday of the week except Tuesday. Wanna get Wei Song's present on the spot but too bad that we did not find anything that suits him. Have to go present hunting another day. Was feeling rather bad that I did not know that its his bday on the coming Sunday until Wan Wah announced. Maybe I'm too preoccupied with myself. A personality test says I'm rather self-centred. Time for reflection again.
Something I realised for the past 2 days. Sometimes comfort dun come with words. Silence can bring lotsa comfort too. Though its resulted from us being too tired to think and talk. But I feel that if a person can be with another person and not talk at all and be at ease is rarer than to be able to talk and talk and talk none stop, coz talk is cheap. Treasure the comfort. Still striking a balance is still the best. A Good Weekday End.
Went to Bugis after discussing the "skit" which we took less than 1/2 hr. Perhaps we r quite bo chup, but somehow things will definitely work out somehow. I have faith in my grp that in one way or another, we definitely can create some form of entertainment. Make work fun, then its no longer work. Applies to labwork as well.
Very glad that we went out after school, though I have been out everyday of the week except Tuesday. Wanna get Wei Song's present on the spot but too bad that we did not find anything that suits him. Have to go present hunting another day. Was feeling rather bad that I did not know that its his bday on the coming Sunday until Wan Wah announced. Maybe I'm too preoccupied with myself. A personality test says I'm rather self-centred. Time for reflection again.
Something I realised for the past 2 days. Sometimes comfort dun come with words. Silence can bring lotsa comfort too. Though its resulted from us being too tired to think and talk. But I feel that if a person can be with another person and not talk at all and be at ease is rarer than to be able to talk and talk and talk none stop, coz talk is cheap. Treasure the comfort. Still striking a balance is still the best. A Good Weekday End.
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Tired
I figured this will be another depressing entry. Rather upset over school and lab work. Perhaps I think too highly of myself. I am not that good afterall. I thought I will be able to handle my labwork pretty well. I thought wrongly I guess. I'm tired after only 1 week of this special term. So many more years to go. I hope I can get through.
Other stuffs bothered me today as well. I was feeling rather irritated. Maybe I should just go to sleep. And stop making this entry depressing.
Other stuffs bothered me today as well. I was feeling rather irritated. Maybe I should just go to sleep. And stop making this entry depressing.
Saturday, May 15, 2004
A Week
1 week down, actually only almost down coz tomolo I still have school. I hate school, work or anything besides sleeping on Saturday morning. Anyway, this week has been a rather different experience from what we have been doing for the previous terms. We have a lot more lab sessions, and are learning a lot new stuffs within this week.
Thank God, I understand most of the things becoz I have quite a fair bit of background knowledge. Maybe that's why I have a rather high expectations for myself. I was rather upset with myself that I am moving off rather slowly. Getting stuck at finding teeth and mounting them. Blame it on my laziness I think. Supposed to have done it over the hols. Depression started to set in becoz of some other reasons as well. Thankfully I managed to catch up quite a bit today. Thats all about work I figured.
Perhaps all my stress are self inflicted. If I were to be less competitive, I will feel more relax I think. But I think its really hard to keep up with my coffee breaks when I am behind time and when the whole world is working like crazy. Still, I am partially in hols mood. I rarely come home straight after school. Out to do things I like. Trying to make the best out of my day, when around 1/3 is spent in school. But I must say that I do really enjoy my lab sessions alot, doing stuffs that I like. Perhaps I can do better if I relieve the stress factors.
I always wonder how would it be like being the operator when I was still an assistant. Now I getting to know why dentist deserved to be well-paid. I am getting a bit proud of my soon to be profession. I really hope I can be an outstanding clincian. For my patients in the near future, I will make sure I know my work.
Thank God, I understand most of the things becoz I have quite a fair bit of background knowledge. Maybe that's why I have a rather high expectations for myself. I was rather upset with myself that I am moving off rather slowly. Getting stuck at finding teeth and mounting them. Blame it on my laziness I think. Supposed to have done it over the hols. Depression started to set in becoz of some other reasons as well. Thankfully I managed to catch up quite a bit today. Thats all about work I figured.
Perhaps all my stress are self inflicted. If I were to be less competitive, I will feel more relax I think. But I think its really hard to keep up with my coffee breaks when I am behind time and when the whole world is working like crazy. Still, I am partially in hols mood. I rarely come home straight after school. Out to do things I like. Trying to make the best out of my day, when around 1/3 is spent in school. But I must say that I do really enjoy my lab sessions alot, doing stuffs that I like. Perhaps I can do better if I relieve the stress factors.
I always wonder how would it be like being the operator when I was still an assistant. Now I getting to know why dentist deserved to be well-paid. I am getting a bit proud of my soon to be profession. I really hope I can be an outstanding clincian. For my patients in the near future, I will make sure I know my work.
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Findings
Today is quite a bad day. Bad start for school I think. Teeth problems, Heart problems, Hearing Problems and Sleeping Disorder.
Though, things did not turn out the way I would have liked it to. I am still glad that I am so sure on my part, almost never have I felt it before. Finding Nemo seems so much easier compared to me trying to find a way out of this circle. I think that Wei Hon is most likely to be correct. Still, I choose to be a fool. I forsee how things will end, though I still have hope. Why make myself so cheap I asked? Its going to be painful I know. In fact, I have started feeling the pain.
Sorry ppl, I just wanna complain. I think I am really not cut up to accomplish anything. Only know how to whine and complain where in fact nothing can be resolved at the end of the day. Quite a loser I figured. Suddenly, I think very little of myself. Where is the pride I used to have? I am finding.
Though, things did not turn out the way I would have liked it to. I am still glad that I am so sure on my part, almost never have I felt it before. Finding Nemo seems so much easier compared to me trying to find a way out of this circle. I think that Wei Hon is most likely to be correct. Still, I choose to be a fool. I forsee how things will end, though I still have hope. Why make myself so cheap I asked? Its going to be painful I know. In fact, I have started feeling the pain.
Sorry ppl, I just wanna complain. I think I am really not cut up to accomplish anything. Only know how to whine and complain where in fact nothing can be resolved at the end of the day. Quite a loser I figured. Suddenly, I think very little of myself. Where is the pride I used to have? I am finding.
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