2 days of school. That's all it takes to remove all happiness in me. So much for the festive season. Thank to the 5 day weeks, the school is giving us crazy schedule. 0800-1730 i thought was bad. They decide to give us extra lecture as and when they wish until 1830 today. I foresee it might well continue this way.
Labless day is killer, fighting the Zzzz Monster ever since morning. And yah I was late for school this morning, just the 2nd day. Well, I guess, I'm suffering for post-hols sydrome, and pre-exam sydrome at the same time. Dun really know why I am damn stressed up these days. Can't explain, perhaps my instinct tell me that things are going to be real bad for this crazy short term. Come to think of it its just 13 weeks and I'll (hopefully) be in Year 3 and will be starting to see patients.
Realised that my abilty to do my work properly is really not there, in other words, I'm still not comfortable with my use of indirect vision. Most of the time, the water spray will blured everything, and I'll resort to tactile sensation or worse unethical use for direct vision if its a female patient, probably she'll be screaming of molest. I see more problems with my bad posture once I enter clinic. Got to try correct it soon I hope.
Guess, i should waste precious time writing, sleep is priority now. Anytime and anywhere.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Friday, December 24, 2004
Christmas Party Once More
Just got home from Class Party at Geng Feng's house. Lotsa missing faces compared to last year, but still its always nice to have a reason to gather around together. Where u will start playing funny games that u might have long forgotten. Bear and hunter game reminded me of the Chinese New Year Celebration at Teck Siang's house long long time ago. Though images of the night are still vivid in my mind.
Anyways, thanks to all who came, and geng feng who has kindly offered his place, and of course to Yonghe who planned most of the stuffs. Hopefully, we'll be able to hold such parties even after we graduated from Dentistry. Nice memories like these, I hope will be sustained. Wish of another CYN celebration at Teck Siang's house with those faces I yearned to see, and emotions I fondered for, seems impossible. What's lost cannot be found.
Time flies, I still remembered my Christmas entry 1 year ago, also after the class party. I'm amazed at how things have changed, and changes beyond my control. Friendship, I admit I spoil it. Trying to revive I swear I tried. But things can never be the same again. Well, that's life I guess, you win some, you lose some. The privilege to buy Lulin a Christmas gift is something I've won. Not predicament like Wei Song has jokingly put it. Guess I'm tired, not making any sense now.
Have Urself a Merry Little `X'mas
Anyways, thanks to all who came, and geng feng who has kindly offered his place, and of course to Yonghe who planned most of the stuffs. Hopefully, we'll be able to hold such parties even after we graduated from Dentistry. Nice memories like these, I hope will be sustained. Wish of another CYN celebration at Teck Siang's house with those faces I yearned to see, and emotions I fondered for, seems impossible. What's lost cannot be found.
Time flies, I still remembered my Christmas entry 1 year ago, also after the class party. I'm amazed at how things have changed, and changes beyond my control. Friendship, I admit I spoil it. Trying to revive I swear I tried. But things can never be the same again. Well, that's life I guess, you win some, you lose some. The privilege to buy Lulin a Christmas gift is something I've won. Not predicament like Wei Song has jokingly put it. Guess I'm tired, not making any sense now.
Have Urself a Merry Little `X'mas
Monday, December 20, 2004
DAMN I FAILED
Got a bad news from Wei Song today. I failed my radiology competency test. I must say that I really didn't expect that to happened. Until I realised that what I failed was the Bitewing competency part which was invigilated by A/P Loh Fun Chee. I can't help but to think that he failed me becoz I had once stepped on his toes before, and I'm not exactly a very well behaved student in class, rather than the fact that I am incompetent.
I'm sorry if I do sound arrogrant, I have complete confidence in my radiograph taking ability especially for bitewing. I have taken no less than a 100 bitewing radiographs before, and was sure that I did rather well that day. Anyways the results is fixed, there is no way that I could argue that I did correct that day since he is the only one who could give judgement. I really feel I do not deserve to fail. If I ever find out that he failed me just becoz he was prejudice towards me, which in fact I have already assumed so. He will lose the very bit of respect I have for him.
Damn, I sounded like I can't take failure. But I believed those who know will understand why I can't help but to think this way. If I really deserved to fail, I will jolly well take it as a learning opportunity, but I hated to have failed just becoz I'm not in favour of the examiner. No matter whether he judge me as failed or passed. All I have to say is I have total, complete confidence that I am capable of taking radiograph for my future patients. I do not need him to judge my ability, but sad to say, I need him to pass me just for me to move on and be able to start clinics.
I hated this system, where ppl who play as judges r never impartial. Some better, some worse. I'm Disappointed.
I'm sorry if I do sound arrogrant, I have complete confidence in my radiograph taking ability especially for bitewing. I have taken no less than a 100 bitewing radiographs before, and was sure that I did rather well that day. Anyways the results is fixed, there is no way that I could argue that I did correct that day since he is the only one who could give judgement. I really feel I do not deserve to fail. If I ever find out that he failed me just becoz he was prejudice towards me, which in fact I have already assumed so. He will lose the very bit of respect I have for him.
Damn, I sounded like I can't take failure. But I believed those who know will understand why I can't help but to think this way. If I really deserved to fail, I will jolly well take it as a learning opportunity, but I hated to have failed just becoz I'm not in favour of the examiner. No matter whether he judge me as failed or passed. All I have to say is I have total, complete confidence that I am capable of taking radiograph for my future patients. I do not need him to judge my ability, but sad to say, I need him to pass me just for me to move on and be able to start clinics.
I hated this system, where ppl who play as judges r never impartial. Some better, some worse. I'm Disappointed.
I've Got Mail(SMS)
Now I believe. Believe in telepathy. I was at home the whole day waiting for Lulin's call. Spent my day in front of the TV set. Refused to go out for lunch, dinner and supper, afraid that she might call and I'll miss the call if I were to be out.
As the day goes, I got more disappointed. Finally, I was lying on my bed, about to send her a good night sms telling her about my day, telling her I spent my day waiting for her call, telling her I missed her. I thought that all my smses ever since she left have never reached her becoz I thought she dun have autoroaming. Wanna surprise her when she come back and find that her phone full of my smses.
Anyways as I was halfway through my good night sms to her, I got a msg. I read the msg and couldnt believe my eyes that its from her. She has to save batt so we only got to sms chat for a while. But now, I'm so happy that I couldn't sleep. I thought I would not have any news of her for the day, was hoping for better luck tomolo already.
I realised that she has been receiving my sms, perhaps she thought I've forgotten about her for today thats why she decided to msg me. I admit its my fault coz I thought a goodnite sms would suffice for a day I spent doing nothing at home, so sorry that I'm a fool.
Perhaps, this entry seems a bit too personal, but I just wanna share my joy. Perhaps I just wanna note this feeling down while its still rushing through me. Damn I guess I can't sleep liao. 4 more days before she will be back.
As the day goes, I got more disappointed. Finally, I was lying on my bed, about to send her a good night sms telling her about my day, telling her I spent my day waiting for her call, telling her I missed her. I thought that all my smses ever since she left have never reached her becoz I thought she dun have autoroaming. Wanna surprise her when she come back and find that her phone full of my smses.
Anyways as I was halfway through my good night sms to her, I got a msg. I read the msg and couldnt believe my eyes that its from her. She has to save batt so we only got to sms chat for a while. But now, I'm so happy that I couldn't sleep. I thought I would not have any news of her for the day, was hoping for better luck tomolo already.
I realised that she has been receiving my sms, perhaps she thought I've forgotten about her for today thats why she decided to msg me. I admit its my fault coz I thought a goodnite sms would suffice for a day I spent doing nothing at home, so sorry that I'm a fool.
Perhaps, this entry seems a bit too personal, but I just wanna share my joy. Perhaps I just wanna note this feeling down while its still rushing through me. Damn I guess I can't sleep liao. 4 more days before she will be back.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
A Day With Me & Myself
Well, I realised I've have not been spending time with myself. Yesterday was quite rewarding for me. I went around town just to get a study chair. In the end I got one at the Furniture Mall. Not that the design is anything that I liked. But the fact that its rather affordable compared to all those that I've seen. Besides that I have to DIY fix the chair myself give me the extra bonus to buy it. That's one of the reasons why I like Ikea stuffs coz I love to fix things up myself.
Anyways, as I was saying spending the day walking around alone maybe quite rewarding as well. I get to see the stuffs that I like, and probably I'm the only freak that love to shop (window shop more appropriately) for furnitures, walk around taking random pictures of buildings and stuffs. It felt so much better a day compared to spending my day bumming at home or walking aimlessly at Orchard. Well, like I said, I'm a freak.
The Chair I Really Wanted.
Can you believe that this chair actually cost $990 but can get its imitation for around $130. This was taken at the furniture museum where they show many different chair designs back from the 1800s to present. Got lotsa toy like models on display as well. Too bad I was stopped by one of the staff from taking more pictures.
Well, its a nice day being alone.
Anyways, as I was saying spending the day walking around alone maybe quite rewarding as well. I get to see the stuffs that I like, and probably I'm the only freak that love to shop (window shop more appropriately) for furnitures, walk around taking random pictures of buildings and stuffs. It felt so much better a day compared to spending my day bumming at home or walking aimlessly at Orchard. Well, like I said, I'm a freak.
The Chair I Really Wanted.
Can you believe that this chair actually cost $990 but can get its imitation for around $130. This was taken at the furniture museum where they show many different chair designs back from the 1800s to present. Got lotsa toy like models on display as well. Too bad I was stopped by one of the staff from taking more pictures.
Well, its a nice day being alone.
Friday, December 17, 2004
She Left On A Jet Plane
This is the 1st night. I really missed talking to her on phone. I think back of all the times I multitasked while chatting with her. I regret. Walked around town today, images of us walking along the same path keep flashing. Lunching at Lido which we often does, Bench Resting the at City Link which we always take photos of walking feet, Pacific Coffee Company which we retopping up the whip cream. When she's back we'll go again. She said she will call (if she could) halfway through her trip, I'm looking forward to that. Hopefully she got internet access there and see my blog. Perhaps then I wun need to wait so long.
Anyways, today met up with the guys for lunch, movie and ice cream. Suddenly, school seems to be so much real again to me. Nice to get back in touch with reality. But now, I'll still enjoy while i could. Thanks for waking me up. Looks like my choice of lending my friend WC3 cd is indeed correct. Though my initial intention is so that I can stop multitasking when talking to Lulin and getting my biological clock right. But look at the time, I dun need dota to keep me up at night, TV can as well.
Meeting with friends, makes me glad. Perhaps, more for friends that I can confide in. I must admit Andy is a great listener. Sorry to bore you. Maybe I dun show well. But, I'm glad to have made a frd like u. Meet again when Eugene is back. Another friend I'm glad to meet and not lost. Appreciate u friends, they are more important than u ever think they are. They wun realised themselves too. I'm sadden that I've let so many go.
I think too much as always, future seems to much for me too bear. I see gloom. I despaired. Perhaps, simple way to handle is to focus on the present. Why waste energy on things which need no more attention now.
Anyways, today met up with the guys for lunch, movie and ice cream. Suddenly, school seems to be so much real again to me. Nice to get back in touch with reality. But now, I'll still enjoy while i could. Thanks for waking me up. Looks like my choice of lending my friend WC3 cd is indeed correct. Though my initial intention is so that I can stop multitasking when talking to Lulin and getting my biological clock right. But look at the time, I dun need dota to keep me up at night, TV can as well.
Meeting with friends, makes me glad. Perhaps, more for friends that I can confide in. I must admit Andy is a great listener. Sorry to bore you. Maybe I dun show well. But, I'm glad to have made a frd like u. Meet again when Eugene is back. Another friend I'm glad to meet and not lost. Appreciate u friends, they are more important than u ever think they are. They wun realised themselves too. I'm sadden that I've let so many go.
I think too much as always, future seems to much for me too bear. I see gloom. I despaired. Perhaps, simple way to handle is to focus on the present. Why waste energy on things which need no more attention now.
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